Falls of the Ohio

Belle of Louisville




Visitor's Guide to Louisville

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "Loo-vull"
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Louisville has its
own version of traffic rules....the truck with the loudest exhaust
goes next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after
(Note: Blue haired ladies driving anything have right of way
3. To find anything in Louisville it is required that you know were
the "Old Sears Building" is... which is the Alpha and Omega. The beginning
and the end.

4. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour
is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear
ended,cussed out and possibly shot.
6. You must know that "Jefferson Freeway", "Gene Snyder Freeway", "I -
265", and "State Road 841" are the same road.
7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Louisville. The barrels are
moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving
a bit more exciting.
8. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars,
opposum, truck tires, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or
vultures feeding on any of these items.
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
10. The minimum acceptable speed on the "Gene Snyder Freeway (see
above) is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is
Kentucky's version of NASCAR.
11. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.
12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 55 zone ...
you are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended
for city driving.
14. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
15. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Kentucky Derby Festival is
going on